Healing the Family Home

‘The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.’  Maya Angelou

There is an expression ‘a home is where the heart is,’ which suggests that the place where we live and how we feel about our home, should be both satisfying and complementary. Whether you still live in your childhood home or have moved a thousand miles away, where you live can have a profound effect on your wellbeing. A relaxing and comfortable residence can make the differencebetween a peace of mind or living in a constant state of anxiety and stress.

Besides, it is all the same, whether you were born in luxury, or poverty, in the countryside or the city, the land beneath your feet on which the building stands will carry the echoes of history in its walls and interiors. Heirlooms and photographs inherited from our family, things that we lovingly ignore retain memories to remind us of our past, these all create an impact on the ‘atmosphere’ in which we live.

To discover what kinds of ancestral and historical issues could affect your family home is an interesting journey and many people reflect to the places where they have lived and with hindsight discover how much they loved, enjoyed, but also in some cases hated living there, either way it would have profoundly affected them. Sometimes it is a familiarity which harbours safety and if you take away that ingredient everything can start to fall apart.

Healing Your Family Home


The land, the culture, the history, and the family legacy all have influences on where we live today. The connections we have to any property links us to the memories from earlier times, we may come from a town or village which consists of various family alliances, all living in different streets but commonly connected by the same bloodlines which goes back in some cases for generations. When families have moved away it is more difficult to find this alliance but whatever your circumstances, whether you can trace your family history back generations, or you cannot, the question remains: How is my home being affected by my ancestors?

If you have inherited a property which has been passed down through generations, it is more likely that the place feels atmospheric and gripped by its family history. The home where we live now is often filled with memories, in the passing of each generation heirlooms are inherited, they may have a special meaning to the new owner, something to be treasured or honoured but other items less sentimental or valuable maybe thrown into the loft, shed or basement, left to depreciate or just be forgotten.

This often happens when we begin to fill up our home with paraphernalia or objects that are considered of little or material value or use, but have some sentimental value attached to them. Family heirlooms are objects which include anything from war medals, jewellery handed down from generation to generation, exclusive antiques to a battered rocking chair or grandmother’s lock of hair, ancestral portraits, old mirrors, and other objects all carrying positive and negative energy from your family. They usually hold a force of their own; because the more an object is handled or treasured the more it can manifest an emotional content that connects it to the person who treated it as special.

After the death of a relative when their belongings are handled, it can be uncovered there is so much more to who they were and what their life was about. We find out more about their homes, belongings, family heirlooms, jewellery, photographs and so on. All tell a story about the family heritage. Sometimes these things will bring up some particularly challenging emotions and become a doorway into the authentic character of the relative, even secrets of hidden treasures maybe brought to light.

It is very appropriate to take care and respect items inherited from the deceased family member, these things once had an importance to our loved one, they were openly valued by them, each item has a charge of life; those who owned and handled these memorabilia put their essence into these collections with some items being more intimate than others.

There is a skill called psychometry when applied by a skilled interpreter, it can identify and translate memories of retained influences in objects. When a person dies, they have left behind the whole of their life in their possessions, these are mementoes of their times, demonstrate an archaeology of sorts, of how they had lived. A photograph may depict in situ, scenes of a relative in a time frame, frozen as an image that will in time fade. However, the feelings may not be so clear, a picture is always an echo involving history that an ancestor can still connect through. Similarly, comparable to a series of photographs on the wall can represent an altar, like a doorway into the past.

When clearing an ancestral atmosphere, you are on some level identifying with aspects of someone’s life that still resonates with your family and has the power to influence you in the process of clearing out the unwanted, outdated things which hold an emotional charge to those objects. If you start to feel too attached or blocked by these objects, then it is time to consider the hold they have over you. It is worth spending time choosing what you want to keep or wish to throw away.

Historical Information on Your Current Property

  • Research relevent information about the house. Research the deeds and historical information. Find out who lived and died in the house as it could be relevant to the history of place. 
  • Research any historical influences that could have been affecting them at that time; for example, was the area a place where there were WW2 bombings or flooding, or earthquakes, fires etc.
  • Explore the building, the land and the purpose or use of the property, find out the origins of use; if it was a church, school, asylum, hospital and so on.
  • Research old maps and location information, the history of the area and names of those who lived there by using cenus records.